Lying In State | June 2019

Illustration by Brian Aggeler

Meet State's Most Mediocre Officer L. Jess Fonitin. Jess made a robustly adequate contribution to the international air guitar freeedom report. Are you air guitaring the clearance page? His work for a visiting delegation of congressional staffers was hailed as "Just Fine." Here's your per diem. Okay. Thanks. That's just fine. Jess demonstrated a moderate level of competence in the local language. Icky icky. Shamalama ding dong! Why does he demand my lemur? While his entry in the embassy chili cookoff was not a finalist, it offended nobody. It's not too salty... that is true... Jess brings to all his diplomatic work the operational effectiveness of one full functioning kidney. Hey it's all your really need!
Previous articleAppointments | June 2019
Next articleHistoric Century